Dangers of “Love Letters” in Buying & Selling Homes

July 27, 2021 Hadley Ott

The Denver Metro Area housing market is so insanely competitive that buyers are doing anything they can to get the home they want!

In an attempt to make a personal connection and stand out above other offers, many buyers want to write a heartfelt “love letter” to accompany the submission of their offer – a seemingly harmless note to express adoration of the home and features it has to offer them as a potential new owner. What started out as a handwritten or typed letter has quickly escalated to more polished essays with photographs or even short video introductions!

While that may seem harmless, one of the dangers of these letters is that they can actually pose Federal and local anti-discrimination violations! The letters often contain personal information and reveal protected characteristics of the buyer which could then be used, knowingly or through unconscious bias, as an unlawful basis for a seller’s decision to accept or reject an offer.

The Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968 makes it illegal for home sellers and real estate agents to discriminate against buyers on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, national origin, disability, or familial status. Many states have built on that foundation, making it illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender identity, sexual orientation, age, and source of income, among others. Collectively, those laws cover so many buyers in markets across the board!

Here are some categories of information that are most dangerous to share:

Specific info about your family
References to your children and dependents
Specific details about your job and income
Detailed descriptions of how your family plans to enjoy the home
Any references to a place of worship
Anything else that reveals a characteristic protected under the anti-discrimination laws where the property is located

You can see how it would be challenging to write a letter without accidentally including ANY of this information.

Even in a supercharged market like ours, there are some ways to stand out against competing offers. Our best suggestions is to focus on financial strength:

come with a strong price and desirable terms
use a hefty down payment (or consider even offering a higher down payment)
offer additional earnest money (it is protected in the Colorado Contract to Buy & Sell Real Estate in many ways!)
highlight strong qualifications and your ability to remove contingencies sooner
consider offering to pay cash if you have the means to do so
review the terms of an escalation clause to beat out an offer very similar to yours

In addition to that, there are many other ways you can sweeten the offer for the seller:

find out if it would be helpful for them to keep possession of the home for a short time after closing and offer a (potentially free!) short-term post closing occupancy agreement
see if they want to leave behind/sell any furniture to make their move easier and consider buying (or removing after closing) to ease the move process
waive or limit other contingencies (including but not limited to inspection, appraisal, loan conditions, and etc.)
speed up the timeline for closing
consider covering fees generally paid by the seller (title insurance premium, broker co-op commission, or etc).

It is not technically a rule in our state and there are no consequences for agents who do otherwise, but the National Association of Realtors recommends that its member agents should not draft, read, deliver or accept love letters. So please know understand why I won’t draft or submit a letter on behalf of a buyer, and will not accept or review any on behalf of a seller.

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